


The Horde's Finest Soldiers

by InkwellSelkie



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Memes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-08-20 12:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20227672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkwellSelkie/pseuds/InkwellSelkie
Summary: Just the Horde kids being kids, because season three was a miserable angstfest. Essentially a sitcom in text format taking place in a nebulous and debatable timeframe with no regards to canon events.





	The Horde's Finest Soldiers

**Author's Note:**

> So y'know how Catra and Adora didn't know about things like horses and parties?

This was the best day of Scorpia's life.

Sure, she'd dropped her breakfast rations off one of the balconies, and _sure _Lonnie had accidentally tripped into her back, knocking her out with her own stinger for about ten minutes, and _sure, _it had been hailing all day even when her team had been running drills outside, and _sure, _there was a rock in her shoe, but none of that really mattered, because right now, Catra was letting Scorpia brush her hair.

I know right?? It felt like a weird, happy dream! Maybe she was exhausted from running drills in pouring hail that morning, maybe emotional exhaustion had finally caught up after all the effort she had put into covering her trauma with anger and Catra was too _tired _to pretend to hate Scorpia, or anyone. Who knew.

Scorpia was kneeling back on Catra's bed, Catra sitting slouched on the edge with a bag of Snackers open on her lap and a few inches between herself and each of Scorpia's parted knees, as Scorpia ran the brush over her soft, thick hair.

Well, not soft. Pretty much anything but. It was honestly even wirier than the steel bristles themselves. But you know what _was_ soft? Catra slumped lazily and purring. _Purring._

So, so soft. Scorpia couldn't remember ever seeing her this calm and honestly? It was so worth all the shit they'd been through. 

Crash! Clang! Clatter! Onomatopoeia! 

The grate over a nearby air vent sprung open and clunked dully on the floor, earning a short screech as Catra lept up, all tension, softmess forgotten. Entrapta, legs reared up like a donkey about to kick, flung herself out of the vent and walked down her hair like stairs, quite casual. Catra settled.

"Hi guys!!" She greeted. 

"Oh hey Entrapta," replied Scorpia, leaning forward on her elbows. "What's up? Not busy with all your... uh, experiments and whatnot?"

Entrapta's pigtails walked -unsettling- over to the bed, shifting into a chairlike structure for her to look down on them from. "I'm taking a bit of a break right now, I suppose. Emily's coolant valves overheated and without her Hordak and I haven't been able to make progress as fast as we'd like to. I thought I'd take the opportunity to come say hi while she's cooling off!"

Scorpia and Entrapta chatted for a bit about something or other for a while as Scorpia continued to comb. Catra yawned, having basically lost track of the conversation somewhere between "Hordak" and "cooling".

Or at least until she noticed a lock of Entrapta's hair sneaking forward into her bag of Snackers.

"Hey! Those are mine!" she exclaimed, snatching it away so fast the motion was little more than a blur to Scorpia, but not so fast that Entrapta wasn't able to make away with a handful (hairful??) of bleak gray, cardboard-textured snack food.

She gave one an experimental sniff before tossing it into her mouth, and immediately spat it out in a pile of wet crumbs on the floor.

"Blehh!!" she gagged, dropping the rest of the Snackers. "What kind of "snack" are these? They taste like dirt!"

"To be fair, most Fright Zone food does. That's how it got its name." Scorpia joked.

"I don't even think they're real food," Catra mused, cramming a handful into her mouth anyway. "Chances are it's just leftover scraps from the grey ration bars with a little extra spice. I've seen older force captains scraping little shavings off their lunch bars a couple of times. It's possible."

Entrapta grumbled. "Well now I'm snacky. Don't you guys have any normal snack foods around here? Like chips?"

"What are chips?" Catra asked without a beat.

"That's sad." Entrapta shook her head. "What else don't you have in the Horde?"

"So much!" groaned Scorpia, throwing her head back dramatically and making a grand sweeping gesture with her arms. "When my family joined up they made us get rid of basically everything! All my comic books, scented shampoo, scented candles,- actually anything with a fun flavour now that I think about it, throw pillows, roller skates, string cheese-"

"That's a lot of sacrifices,"

"Ugh, tell me about it,"

Entrapta got a pensive look on her face, but then her eyes lit up. "Wait. Wait! Do you guys even have updog?!"

Scorpia's eyes went wide. She pressed her lips together to keep from laughing.

Catra looked puzzled, something that didn't happen often. 

"What's updog?"

And _that_, ladies, gents, and twenty-three cents, was why today was the best day of Scorpia's life.

**Author's Note:**

> This just in: Kyle dies from ligma.
> 
> Edit: 06/19/2020   
This was originally intended to be a series but has gone unedited for so long and I have no other ideas for future chapters so it's just a oneshot now.


End file.
